We want to adopt. But, there are so many decisions and it’s hard to know the perfect exact one to choose. I’ve been gobbling up blogs, books, podcasts, and conversations, but still it’s hard to make the decision about what’s the right step for us. No, we haven’t officially submitted our application for the Home Study and all the rest of the things we need to do to qualify to adopt, but I need to ‘talk’ about all the hopes, dreams, insecurities, and realities going around in my head even before that step is taken.
So, let me just start at the beginning…
I was born into a family that was in the midst of an adoptive story. My oldest brother is adopted – and not ‘out of birth order.’ He was literally my parent’s first child. On their missionary journeys they docked in Indonesia and within 3 days my parents had visited an orphanage, chosen my oldest brother, got all the necessary paperwork signed, and took him home to the ship they were living on. After that, they lived in Belgium for 8 years where they had my 3 biological siblings. Then, after moving back to the states, they had me. I am the only one of my siblings born in the USA. My mother really fell in love with her travels and named me for a province in France, Brittany, as a tribute to their time in Europe and a constant reminder of these years.
Choosing to Adopt…
I have my own musings about what it must be like to adopt a child, what it must be like to be adopted and from my own experience, what it is like to be the non-adopted sibling in an adoptive family. Because my brother was in the family since before I was born, I never thought twice about how he was different from us. That is, not until I came of a more knowledgeable age. But what did my brother think? What do all adopted children think when hit with the reality that they are not biologically linked with the people they call parents and the children they call siblings? I wonder if every so often, the adopted child has to ‘choose to adopt’ the adoptive family as their own. How many times did my brother choose to love in the face of our differences? I don’t know the answer, but I know there were times when he whole-heartedly loved me and called me ‘his own.’
We all Choose…
Aside from adoption, we all have to/get to choose. Every moment, we choose to say, ‘Yes’ to the family that we’re a part of and we choose to know those around us and be known by those around us.
9 thoughts on “Adoption!!!”
Loved it Brittany! I really like the part where your brother chose to love beyond the family structure. I also like how you encapsulated the whole blog at the end in bold, to sum up the message. Well done! Keep writing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aaron, Thanks so much for your encouragement! I’m looking forward to continuing this new venture and I hope it’s uplifting and thought provoking for all who read it. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Thanks for sharing!!! I’m so encouraged!
We too are starting an adoption journey and are deep in the paperwork and training process. And I come from a family where adoption has made us who we are with two younger adopted brothers. I deeply resonate with your story!
More and more I am having my eyes opened to what adoption into the the family of God means for me. Feeling challenged to say yes to all that that means. In some ways I feel like I’m walking out my own adoption story as we walk out adoption as a family. So hard and beautiful and so so redemptive.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love this! As an adoptive mama, I love what you said about the child choosing to adopt their family as their own. There are so many facets to being an adoptive family and parenting children through adoption. We’ve been blessed to adopt all four of our kidddos and we’re now waiting for healing from infertility. The thoughts often come about how my kids will feel about a biological child…will it make them question their place or their importance, will they feel less loved or replaced,? All of these fears come to overwhelm me, but I know that God has it in His hands…His plan is always perfect! He won’t give us more than we as a family can handle! We ran into Putty at church and I told him we’re more than happy to chat about adoption anytime. Congratulations, we’re SO excited for you all!!!
Sarah, Thank you so much for telling me more about your story. I’ll admit that when I first saw your family I wondered how all the members came together. Lynette told me that you had adopted, but I hadn’t had a chance to connect with you on that yet. Thank you so much for your offer to chat! I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. I’ll be in agreement with you about healing from infertility too. Families are amazing and together can navigate all that we come up to (even biological children after adoption)! Love you!
Melissa, This is so neat to hear! I love making connections and neither of us knew we had this similarity until now! That’s one of the reasons I want to write. I want to share more about my own stories and connect with others in areas that are similar. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. What a neat journey we’ll all be on through this adoption experience! I’m in total agreement with you about the God-stuff too. God made it clear that through adoption, we’ll understand even more how we’re a part of His family. This isn’t the reason we’re adopting, but it’s such a positive outcome (one of may)! Love ya girl!
I’m so excited, Brittany. Thanks for sharing! It is exciting enough when any of God’s children adopts, but I am especially grateful that you, as a “pastor’s family” are seeking to adopt. Not only do you and Putty seem to have a great and blessed family life, but your choice to adopt will make you a special example to the Vineyard family and the world, just like everything else you do, to be like, “Come, follow us as we follow God!” I pray that your adoptions will be huge blessings to all of you and your adopted children, and to the family of Vineyard and beyond. Thank you for stewarding your faith, courage, love and home this way!
Lesley, Thank you so much for your comment! It is super encouraging. I’m really excited for what God has for our future and the family we’ll continue to make. I see God’s guidance all over the place when I look back at my life lived so far and I’m excited to see more of it as we venture forward. Thank you for your prayers. We are so happy to include our community in this process and we are very thankful for the prayers offered up on our behalf. Thank you!