Pre-Steps to Adoption
When I dreamed about adopting, my idea of the process was formed from my Mom and Dad’s experience – go into a foreign orphanage, choose the baby that God highlights to you, get all paperwork and approval done in 3 days, and be on your way with your new baby. As I looked into the current adoption process, I realized how miraculous their adoption really was!
The process is much more than 3 days, but even before that part begins, there’s so much to decide ahead of time! My hope is that through sharing some of what we’re learning through our adoption process, others will know more of what to expect for their own journey. But of course, each adoption story is as unique and individual as the children that are adopted!
So Many Decisions…
In researching, I read a lot of blogs and books that outlined the process AFTER an application had been filled out, but didn’t see many about the part prior to it. My experience is that there’s a lot of work and deciding that has to be done before you even submit the initial application to adopt. Obviously, the first step is to decide to welcome an adopted child into your home and then decide on the ‘right’ timing. Once Putty and I felt like it was the right time for us, we contacted a private agency a friend recommended to us, so we could ask questions about the process.
But before we could even schedule a meeting we were told that we had to decide if we would be going the domestic or international route. This was not what I wanted to hear because I wanted to talk with a knowledgeable individual about the differences between the two. Unfortunately, different employees handle the different types of adoption and that’s why I needed to know which route I wanted to explore. I guess I could’ve scheduled two separate meetings, but I didn’t think about that at the time.
Honestly, I felt like I got stopped in my excited tracks. I was having such a hard time deciding what I truly felt God was showing me as our adoption journey. Most of this is probably because I have a hard time making decisions. There’s a fear that I’ll choose wrong and something won’t go well. But, through this journey I’ve learned a lot about what choosing actually looks like. So, for a year I took time to research different types of adoption, have discussions with my husband, reflect, discuss with friends, reflect some more, and then decide. It was a long process, but one that ended up giving me a lot more clarity.
Adoption Inquiry Meeting…
After a year of weighing domestic vs. international, we decided to look into domestic adoption. The next step was to schedule our adoption inquiry meeting with the agency and learn as much as we could about the process before filling out the application. This meeting ended up being really helpful and we got some clarity on private vs. fostering adoption, costs, getting matched with a child, and the steps through it all. We knew that we had another long process ahead of us, but we were up for the journey because this was about our future child!
Everything above this paragraph was written prior to my post Adoption Update: April 28, 2019. Since that post, we have had so many more interactions with people about their experiences with adoption and we are yet again rethinking and praying about some of our initial decisions. This truly is a process and not one to be taken lightly or to rush ahead in. Please pray for us that God will make things more clear for us and that He will guide us in the adoption steps that are His best for our family, current and future.
In all this, I’m learning that important decisions don’t necessarily have a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ path. There are usually many good paths and some bad ones. Obviously, we want to choose from the good ones. God teaches us to be patient in the waiting, always listening for when He’ll show us which next step to take. Also, we can be sure that no matter what good choice we make, God will bring about His goodness in the journey.
2 thoughts on “Pre-Steps to Adoption”
So much to figure out! Dad and I are praying that God is guiding you and preparing you and Putty for the child He will bring to your family.
Mom, we really, really appreciate your continued prayers for us! We really are trying to lean into what God’s preparing for our family and wait patiently for his guidance on our next step!