My Story, Voice

Embracing the Musician Within

Not a Music Nerd

Let me be honest. Sometimes the things I am most passionate about, I play off as having only a passing fancy. I cover up my excitement so that I don’t come across as immature or uncool. I don’t want to be pigeon-holed as the person with only this one interest or seem obsessed and with nothing else to talk about. No, I want to be well-rounded. I even went to a liberal arts college that gives a person an educational experience across multiple disciplines. But what happens to those things I’m truly passionate about when I push them aside?

Go Royals! Bethel, my Alma Mater.

Losing Myself…

Reflecting on my childhood, I realize that somewhere along the way, I took on so many interests that my highest ‘joy-giver-interests’ started to get watered down. I started to question, ‘Who am I really?’ and ‘What’s actually important to me?’ I thought, ‘I feel like X is important to me, but so-and-so really has a good argument for Y being important. So, maybe I should rethink that and move towards Y.’ This happened over and over again and each time I chose to put my passion in a box for the sake of another’s passion, mine got buried deeper and deeper. No, it wasn’t completely gone, but it wasn’t at the forefront either.

Finding Myself…

Slowly, I began to see that some things just weren’t for me. They weren’t life giving and it didn’t feel like God was leading me in those directions. So, I stopped doing them. As more ‘potential interests’ got thrown out, my passions started to float to the surface once more! There was a wind on them that sent them pushing ahead and showing up in so many places. It was exciting and I felt more alive again!

Embracing the Musician Within…

Me and my music scarf!

This past year one of my greatest passions was reignited – Music! Yes, I have been doing music non-stop in a professional manner since I graduated college, but still I found myself ignoring the importance of it in my life. Very few people in my social circles seemed to have a true interest in music and when I came across those that did, we ended up talking about other things. But somehow, this year is different. Suddenly, I don’t seem to care if I am nerdy about music. I want to publicly show my love of it! My home decor changed (music lamp, music mugs, etc) and even some of my fashion accents (see scarf in photo). I sought out other musicians to talk to and felt joy and excitement rise again inside of me!

Me and a piano that Handel (composer of ‘The Hallelujah Chorus’) frequently played!

I’m not afraid to say, ‘I am a musician!’ I love music. It helps me express things that I can’t put into words. It helps me process underlying emotions. I am a singer! When I sing out, I feel like I’m soaring along with my voice to a new land that’s full of adventure and the unknown! I am a music professional! I can ‘talk-shop’ with other musicians and know that I have something to say because of my years of practice, teaching, and observing. So, bring it on! Let me sing! Let my voice be heard! This is who I am… (at least in part)… and it’s such an important part.

If we find ourselves feeling dull in life, then let’s look at what we’re giving time and energy to. How many of these things are life-giving to us? Do we purposely carve out time to interact with our passions? Are we constantly trying new things at the expense of what brings us joy? Are we letting go of things that ‘clutter’ our space for our higher passions? It’s so important to remember that when we move those things out, we’ll have more room to explore the passions that God has put inside each one of us. They’ll be life-giving, hope-filling, and joy-bringing!

4 thoughts on “Embracing the Musician Within”

  1. Go for it lady! The World, the Church, needs more people fully connected to the delight of their passions and who they truly are. And thanks for triggering a new thought for me: that in God’s Family we have permission to err on the side of delight when it comes to the things we love (and we may even find that we haven’t gone far enough 🙂 ).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love your perspective here. How it is possible to limit ourselves by trying to cover too many bases. It gives me food for thought. BTW, you have a beautiful voice and I have always loved to hear you sing.


    1. Thanks for the compliment. I love to sing and I’m glad it’s ‘pleasing to the ear.’ 🙂 I’m glad you commented the way you did. I like the terminology you used… limiting ourselves by doing too much. It feels like an oxymoron or something of that nature, but it really can be true.


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