Doing Church Alone with Kids – Part 2

Together, but not…

In my previous post, I shared how I ‘do church alone with kids’ because my husband works on Sunday mornings. The kicker is that he works at our church! How can he and I be in the same place at the same time, but I am still alone/separate? 

The Assumption and the Reality…

When we decided that my husband would leave his field of physics to become a pastor, I didn’t realize how that would affect my Sunday mornings. I assumed we’d carry on as usual. He and I still sitting together at church, mingling with friends together, and driving to and from church together. But one day, I started complaining to him about his lack of presence with me on Sundays. I tried to demand more of him on that day. He made it clear that he was ‘at work’ and he couldn’t just function as we had in the past.

The Workplace…

This really got me thinking. I had to wrap my head around what he was saying. So, I tried to apply it to when I was working full time. It would be inappropriate for me to have my husband come to my workplace and just sit with me all day. It would be distracting to have him constantly talking to me and trying to get my attention while I was working or meeting with people. It’d be awkward to have him calling the shots with my time and energy while I was ‘on the clock.’ How very ridiculous that would be!

The Understanding…

When I really started to put it into perspective that he was being paid to be at church on Sunday and interface with the church members, to help in his area of ministry, and that his boss could easily see how he was using his time, I began to shift my expectations. I could see that although we can be a family at church, it actually isn’t his main focus. Although he completely loves me and the kids, he also loves the people he serves – both bosses and church attenders. 

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Working it Out…

As the years have gone by, I’ve been able to work out how to function as a family with my pastor husband, even while he’s working. We have openly discussed the needs of our family and the needs of his job. We come to solutions together so that we are on the same page. And yeah, sometimes that means I shoulder more of the parental role on a Sunday morning. Sometimes, it can seem like I’m alone on the surface, but in reality we’re in this ministry together. The way in which I choose to support him and honor his role is one area that I serve. I’m thankful to be alongside him in our Kingdom Adventure.

Every job, ministry and volunteer role means sacrifice. It means a sacrifice to our expectations and the way we’ve been used to doing things. It means flexibility. We have to be able to change as the roles change. It means openness. We need to be open with those around us so that we can help each other fulfill our needs. It means growth, strengthening, interdependence, and ultimately, gain! What areas do you feel God is strengthening you? Where do you need to see a new perspective? Where do you need to be flexible and stretch? Can you see how God will ultimately bring about goodness and gain to your life as you sacrifice? He is so good.