Adoption Update: August 2019

Application Submitted…

We finally did it! 4 months after a post saying that we were getting ready to submit our application to adopt, we actually did it! Why the long wait? Well, as I mentioned in another post, we felt led by God to reinvestigate a variety of ways to adopt and schedule more meetings and phone calls with the various professionals involved in each type of adoption. I now know a lot more than I did and I’m so glad to have a greater understanding of the adoption world as a whole!

We learned more about different adoption programs such as Foster Care to Adopt, the Adopt Waiting Children program, and International Adoption. When we considered all the options each of these give us and weighed many factors, we decided to go ahead and do what we originally planned, Private Domestic Adoption. This fits best with our current priorities for adoption and learning more about the rest of the programs out there confirmed that our original intention was the right one for us at this time. It feels very good to be even more settled than we were before. 

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What Will People Think?…

One thing that came to light for me personally was how much worry I had wrapped up in how people would view our adoption choices. I knew what God had placed in my heart, but I also knew all the other opinions out there and judgement that could be awaiting me. My mind kept hearing the arguments against the adoption we were choosing and the arguments for all the other types of adoption. I began to feel like I would need to defend my choices and I didn’t know how I would do that. I worried that maybe I wasn’t actually doing what was best.

Because of this inner dialogue, I started to doubt, worry, and wonder. At times, I felt like wavering and giving up. Putty, my husband, isn’t too worried about what others think. He stands firm in his resolve that God spoke and that’s all that matters. This made it hard for me to share openly with him all that was going through my mind and so, sometimes, I felt alone in this too. Perhaps what felt most difficult was hearing ‘Wait’ from God over and over again. I just wanted Him to tell me what to do! I didn’t want to wait, I wanted to be active.

Inner Strengthening…

So, after taking another look at adoption options, reading more books, and talking with more people, I eventually came to know what I really wanted and the best program for that. I came out of this weighing process feeling more firm in my path of adoption. I gained inner strength and conviction towards our decision. These past 4 months have been enormously helpful as we’ve prepared our hearts and family for welcoming another child into our home. And God has finally said, ‘Go!’

Rewards of Waiting…

It wasn’t easy… the waiting. So many times I felt like I was just treading water. It didn’t feel like I was moving forward, but I kept hearing God say, ‘Wait.’ Have you ever felt like this? We can want something to happen or at least see forward motion so badly that we jump ahead and miss the growth and strengthening that happens in the waiting. But when we wait we get the joy of feeling the quickening that comes after the waiting. We feel the peace of having been patient, self-controlled and obedient. And we get to experience the hopeful expectation of the next step that God will lead us on.