Adoption, family, My Story

They Don’t Even Know

They Don’t Even Know…

“They (my kids) don’t even know how much their life is going to change tomorrow!” I thought this on the eve of the birth of my third child. I had a scheduled C-section for the next day and I remember thinking that ‘overnight’ our family’s life would never be the same. The kids would go from having all my attention to a period when they really wouldn’t have much of my attention at all. My youngest would be forced to start allowing Daddy and other people to help him more because, as the preferred person to take care of ALL his needs, I’d be helping another little one more helpless than him instead. There were so many other ways that I knew our family wouldn’t be the same from that point on.

In a way, I mourned what ‘had been’ in my life with each additional child. I had come to feel comfortable with the status quo and I knew what to expect and how to get things done. With trepidation, I anticipated the hard work ahead and the new adjustments that each family member would be making with a new addition. It wasn’t going to be a walk in the park.

Just the Other Day…

And now, just the other day I had the same thought come to my mind as I looked around the table at my sweet family. “The kids don’t know how much life will change when we add another child to our family.” Even if the children can remember some of the ways things changed with a new baby addition, they can’t begin to anticipate how a trans-racial adoption will add new and complex changes to our family’s life. 

Just thinking about this brought about a little sadness to me. I love the family that I have right now. I love how we are and I love how we’re growing and changing. I love what I can expect and the stage that we’re in right now, but just like with each biological child addition, there will be changes with an adopted child addition too.

Positive Overshadows Negative…

But, haven’t I seen beauty in addition to the hardships? The positive impact of growing our family little by little has yielded much more good fruit than the bad fruit of the negative impact due to the loss of the status quo. It’s because of these positive additions to our lives, that we can do this over and over again. We have gained joy immeasurable! We have gained love unfathomable! We have gained compassion, grace, selflessness, and cooperation in ways unknown before we made these changes.

New Stages and Changes…

Yes, it’s true that my kids don’t know what life changes lie ahead for them, but I know that these changes will be far more good than bad. Even though it will be tough at the beginning as transition occurs, I know that once we get our new rhythm, we’ll be even more in sync than before. Our relationships will deepen with one another and we will get to include another human being in the mix to share in these intimate family times! Our family unit will be stretched, but it will also be strengthened. 

I am really looking forward to this new stage in our family life – adoption – and all the unique changes that will take place. Yes, there will be sadness in the letting go of ‘what has been’, but I am looking forward with hopeful anticipation to the ‘what will be!’ Does this relate to any other parts of my life? I can think of lots of other ways that my life has faced changes that didn’t involve adding children. How about a new job/school/church, a new in-law/step-family/cousin, a new home location/town/state, etc.? 

I’d love to hear from you! What have been areas in your life that you had to mourn the ‘what was’, but found great joy in the ‘what came’? Are you facing any situations like this right now? I pray that we all can look forward with hopeful anticipation in our current and upcoming life changes.

5 thoughts on “They Don’t Even Know”

  1. Great post! You have a beautiful family and yay to adoption! God’s grace is enough for us.
    I am learning to accept and enjoy the things I cannot change. I occasionally mourn my stay-at-home mom days…but, I am learning to enjoy my work and school life. I love my job and my program. Working and schooling rn would provide future opportunities for me to become a stay-at-home mom again if I choose to relive that life.
    God has better plans. I will trust Him to lead me.♥️


    1. Thanks for your encouragement! I’m so grateful to be following God’s leading in all of this. I totally understand what you’re saying with the positives and negatives of working vs. staying at home. I do both part time and I find myself wanting one or the other from time to time, but then I know that this is actually best for me right now – to be doing both. I pray that you continue to see the goodness of God as you press into more of what He has for you in this time in your life!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have been in process of embracing the new and mourning the past for the past 2 years. Leaving so much of what I loved in Florida has been hard, especially the work I love to do. However, the new life I have with family around me is a Greater Joy and I’m so glad God has led us back to Illinois. He blesses us through all the changes of Our Lives.


    1. Wow, yes! I can totally understand that. I’m so glad you’re back in Illinois too! What a blessing it’s been to see you both more frequently! I continue to pray that the transition from Florida to Illinois only gets better and better. Love you, Mom!


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