Left Behind…
There was a time when I felt left behind because of my role as a mother. So many other people, women and men, got to go off and do ‘church stuff’ and ministry. Yet there I was at home with my young kids. After all, someone had to feed them at a decent hour and get them to bed. This feeling of being left behind, of being less than, was especially hard as my husband’s ministry and role at church was increasing. I noticed how exciting things were becoming for him. I wanted excitement. I realized how many of my friends were attending different events. I wanted to be free to attend too. I saw the recognition being given to those pressing in for more of the Holy Spirit’s presence. I wanted recognition too, at the very least for being at home with my kids. I felt like I was really missing out and even more deeply, I didn’t want to miss out on the big things that God was doing.
It wasn’t always hard to choose my kids over ministry. I absolutely LOVED my kids (and still do). I always wanted to be a mom, I just didn’t know all that I’d have to give up. I’m not sure we ever know the extent of that until we’re actively parenting. I also never experienced the complete fulfillment and satisfaction of spending time in the presence of the Holy Spirit and praying for other people until I had already become a mom. That’s just how my faith journey turned out. Feeling like I couldn’t have it both ways, being a Mom and participating in ministry, was really hard. It became easy to count all the things I was giving up and it was so easy to get into a ‘woe is me’ attitude. In one of the harder moments, I went on and on with the Lord about how I was feeling and what I was longing for. I complained and I whined … and you know what? He listened. I was thankful that he didn’t chastise me for all the complaints I sent his way. In his loving kindness, he let me tell him the pain and sadness I was experiencing. He was a safe place. A safe place to share, a safe place to cry, and a safe place to process my feelings.
That morning, I headed into my daily Bible reading. I happened to be reading 1 Samuel 30.That’s when David and his men went off to fight a battle. Well, some men stayed behind to keep watch over the baggage because “they were too exhausted.” When I read that line, I could immediately relate. Boy was I feeling tired and exhausted during that time of my life. Sometimes it felt like I couldn’t go on either. Those little baby to Pre-K kiddos really kept me on my toes! As I kept reading, the story goes that David and his men had victory in the battle and they returned with the spoils of battle! Accusingly, some of the men who went to battle said, “Because they did not go with us, we will not give them any of the spoil that we have recovered.” Ouch. That’s not really nice. The Bible actually called those men ‘wicked and worthless.’ Yikes!
Anyway, David, in his wisdom said, “For as his share is who goes down into the battle, so shall his share be who stays by the baggage. They shall share alike.” Wait, had I just read that correctly? The people who stayed behind because they were too exhausted and so they looked after the baggage… they were going to get a share of the spoil/plunder/rewards as if they had gone out to battle? When I read those words that day, the Lord filled my heart and mind with the knowing that what I was doing as a mother was important. Staying with my young children sometimes felt like ‘staying behind with the baggage’. And when I might have a chance to actually go out and do something, I was often just too tired and exhausted to do it! But here was God impressing on me that being a mother… mothering my kids was really important. He was telling me that I wouldn’t miss out on the rewards of doing ‘spiritual battle’ (ministry) just because I stayed behind with the kids. No. Indeed, I would still have a share in the rewards! I too would be rewarded for my choice to be with my kiddos… to minister to my kiddos through my calling as a mother. Whoa! The Lord said emphatically to me in that moment, what I was doing mattered. My heart was full. ……….
Mothers and Mothering Matters…
Recently, I was looking through some prophetic words I have received over the years. I came across one from August of 2020. In it, the person who was hearing something from the Lord for me, felt like God was highlighting the words ‘Mothers Matter.’ I couldn’t agree more. As I reflected on that, I knew this is what I wanted to share today.
Mothers Matter. Whether you’re a Biological, Adoptive, Foster, or Desiring Mom; an Auntie, Big Sister, Grandmama, or Spiritual Mom… all ‘Mothers’ Matter. Because it’s not just the fact of being a Mom, but it’s the ACTIONS of mothering that really matter.
Mothers and MOTHERING matters.
Mothers, Do you know this? Women, do you? Do you know that what you do and do not do matters? You have an impact on each and every person you come into contact with. Whether or not you’re a mother, there are still so many ways that we leave a mark on people… for the good or not so good.
Every heart longs to have loving mothering. Years ago, a close friend and I were talking about the most recent sermon she had heard on the subject of ‘Father Wounds’. She said, “You know, everyone talks about ‘father wounds’, but no one talks about ‘mother wounds’.” That statement took me off guard. First, I hadn’t expected it, but second, when I really thought about it, I hadn’t heard any teachings about wounds from a mother either. She went on to say, “I have mother wounds that need healing.” What were they? I didn’t know exactly, but I did know that she was sincere in her request for healing. Her heart had been wounded along the way by a LACK of mothering. She was hurting … because mothering matters. She needed a kind of mothering that she wasn’t getting from her biological mother. This got me asking the question, “Could she get this needed mothering elsewhere?”
Yes! Yes,the Lord can raise up mothers from anywhere! Another time, a young woman came to me and asked for prayer. Her prayer was for her mother to rise up and support her in a time when she deeply needed her mom. In the past she had been able to rely on her grandmother for all that support, but Grandma had passed away and now another round of need was creeping up. She desperately wanted her Mom to be the mother that she needed in that moment. And as I prayed for her, I felt the Lord prompting that whether or not her own legal mother rose to the challenge, the Lord was inviting me into mothering her. No, not to become her mother, but to have mothering actions toward her. There was no need to do anything extravagant or in-depth, but the invitation was to be available in that moment, to be ready to love, and to speak LIFE into her! I had the opportunity to encourage her as a mother would and to hug her as a mother would and to come alongside of her in her need, as a mother would. It was beautiful and lovely. I found out later that her mother DID come around to meeting her needs. She was so thankful that her mother responded in this way and also thankful that there was someone safe that she could share those needs with in the first place. I’m so glad the Lord made space that day for the two of us to connect. It wasn’t long, but it was enough. It made an impact on her and it made an impact on me.
Biblical Examples of Mothering…
What’s so important about mothers? What sort of actions do they take that we long for? What good are they? Well, I submit to you that we need mothers around us to hold us up when we’re weary. We need mothers who will give us a hug, a human touch. We need mothers around us to call things out in us. Mary did this to Jesus when she prompted him to do a miracle about the wine at a wedding. (John 2:1-11)
We need mothers who will pray for us when we are at our lowest. We need mothers who will seek God for his saving power when our lives are in the balance. The Shunammite mother in 2 Kings 4:18-37 did just this to save her dying son. She knew the power of God and his faithfulness and when her son was dying, she went after Elisha, the prophet of God. He prayed over her son and he came back to life!
We need mothers who will step in when our own mothers cannot. Not every mother is able to care for their child for one reason or another. We see this in Pharaoh’s daughter who pulled Moses out of the river and raised him as her own when his own mother couldn’t. We need women to do just that today! (Exodus 2:1-10)
We need all sorts of mothers doing all sorts of roles, because God created mothers and mothering for the benefit of humankind. He put his own nature of nourishing and nurturing into humanity because it is part of his image… And it is good. Mothering is good.
We see that Jesus loved mothers too. He healed them and their children… yes… and even his own mother he held close to his heart. As Jesus was close to death he saw his mother and his disciple, John and he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” Jesus blessed his mother and John by making them a family in a few short sentences. He knew they would need each other. (John 19:25-27)
So, today I say, MOTHERS MATTER. We need all types of mothers in our lives. We need a multitude of mothers. As I think about my own areas of interaction, I can see so many types of mothers around me. Biological, Adoptive, and Foster Moms. Mothers who hold the dream of a child in their heart. Aunties who come alongside children to encourage them. Big Sisters who look out for and teach their younger siblings. I see Spiritual Mamas who speak prophetically into our hearts and release callings over us. And I’m sure there are more! God has put motherhood into his people.
So, would you rise to the actions of mothering for those around you today? Would you pray for others, call out the talents in others, seek healing for others, and with Jesus, even pull those out of the water who desperately need a mother?
It’s clear to see that Mothers Matter…and…Mothering Matters… Thank you to all the types of mothers out there. We need you and we are thankful for you. Thank you.
Brittany M Putman 