November 2019 – Brittany M Putman

Get Used to It

November 22, 2019 brittanymputman

Waiting…

I waited and waited. After doing everything I could to fill the time, I entered the auditorium and hung out on the back wall. And then I waited some more. Would my husband, Putty, come in soon? Would he ever be done with his conversation? I wanted to find a seat together before announcements ended! I waited a little longer and decided to go out into the lobby to see what was taking him so long.

Looking for Sympathy…

As I exited the auditorium I saw Di, our then co-senior pastor, now founding pastor. She was a sight for my ‘sore eyes’. Surely, she would understand the annoyance I was going through. After all, she had been a pastor’s wife for decades at this point, and I was just starting out on this path. She finished a conversation and we made eye contact. I shared my pastor’s wife woe with her and her response caught me off guard. Did she really just say what I think she just said?

Get Used to It…

I went looking for sympathy and understanding, but all I got was, ‘Get used to it’. She said it with such authority and so matter-of-factly that I didn’t know how to respond! I quickly said some parting words and headed for my husband. Finally he finished up and we went into the church service together. But, Di’s words were still ringing in my ear. They kept coming back to me. What more did they mean?

The Right Word at the Right Time…

It became obvious that her words weren’t unkind or without compassion. No, they were the opposite. These were wise words from a woman who’s had her share of ‘waiting’ and having others ‘wait’ for her. In her nutshell of a phrase was a truth that has carried me all these years. I had a choice to make. I could choose to feel pity for myself and like I was bound to Putty’s schedule and choices, or I could come to terms with his work rhythms and make my own independent choices during these times.

The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry.
Proverbs 25:11 (MSG)

Like a Custom-made Piece of Jewelry…

As the proverb above says, I needed to hear this custom-made response at that time in my life. Through Di’s off-hand comment, God was using it to strengthen me for my journey ahead. That word was so powerful in empowering me to be ‘my own person’ that I frequently think of it again and again. I don’t think Di thought much about whether or not God was speaking through her at that moment, but I know she regularly lives a lifestyle that’s open to Holy Spirit using her in any circumstances. And He did.

Lori (left) and Di (right) praying for me in 2011. What a sweet time!

Just the Other Day…

Just the other day, I exited the auditorium again and caught the tail end of a conversation. There was another wife, waiting for her husband to be finished talking, praying, etc and I caught Di saying it again! ‘Get used to it!’ This time I saw the smile on Di’s face. I heard the encouragement in that phrase, calling us up to make a choice to ‘wait in the wings’ or ‘act while we wait.’ I’m so thankful for this wisdom and the encouragement of these words.

And Act…

I love how one life lesson hits so many other areas of my life. My newborn is crying non-stop, my toddler won’t eat her food, my elementary child is whining all the time… ‘Get used to it – and act.’ My boss isn’t recognizing my full potential, my friend doesn’t call me, my family lives so far apart – ‘Get used to it – and act.’ What areas do you feel God telling you to ‘Get used to it’? Where is he empowering you to make choices that move your life forward today?

Adoption, family, My Story

They Don’t Even Know

November 15, 2019 brittanymputman

They Don’t Even Know…

“They (my kids) don’t even know how much their life is going to change tomorrow!” I thought this on the eve of the birth of my third child. I had a scheduled C-section for the next day and I remember thinking that ‘overnight’ our family’s life would never be the same. The kids would go from having all my attention to a period when they really wouldn’t have much of my attention at all. My youngest would be forced to start allowing Daddy and other people to help him more because, as the preferred person to take care of ALL his needs, I’d be helping another little one more helpless than him instead. There were so many other ways that I knew our family wouldn’t be the same from that point on.

In a way, I mourned what ‘had been’ in my life with each additional child. I had come to feel comfortable with the status quo and I knew what to expect and how to get things done. With trepidation, I anticipated the hard work ahead and the new adjustments that each family member would be making with a new addition. It wasn’t going to be a walk in the park.

Just the Other Day…

And now, just the other day I had the same thought come to my mind as I looked around the table at my sweet family. “The kids don’t know how much life will change when we add another child to our family.” Even if the children can remember some of the ways things changed with a new baby addition, they can’t begin to anticipate how a trans-racial adoption will add new and complex changes to our family’s life.

Just thinking about this brought about a little sadness to me. I love the family that I have right now. I love how we are and I love how we’re growing and changing. I love what I can expect and the stage that we’re in right now, but just like with each biological child addition, there will be changes with an adopted child addition too.

Positive Overshadows Negative…

But, haven’t I seen beauty in addition to the hardships? The positive impact of growing our family little by little has yielded much more good fruit than the bad fruit of the negative impact due to the loss of the status quo. It’s because of these positive additions to our lives, that we can do this over and over again. We have gained joy immeasurable! We have gained love unfathomable! We have gained compassion, grace, selflessness, and cooperation in ways unknown before we made these changes.

New Stages and Changes…

Yes, it’s true that my kids don’t know what life changes lie ahead for them, but I know that these changes will be far more good than bad. Even though it will be tough at the beginning as transition occurs, I know that once we get our new rhythm, we’ll be even more in sync than before. Our relationships will deepen with one another and we will get to include another human being in the mix to share in these intimate family times! Our family unit will be stretched, but it will also be strengthened.

I am really looking forward to this new stage in our family life – adoption – and all the unique changes that will take place. Yes, there will be sadness in the letting go of ‘what has been’, but I am looking forward with hopeful anticipation to the ‘what will be!’ Does this relate to any other parts of my life? I can think of lots of other ways that my life has faced changes that didn’t involve adding children. How about a new job/school/church, a new in-law/step-family/cousin, a new home location/town/state, etc.?

I’d love to hear from you! What have been areas in your life that you had to mourn the ‘what was’, but found great joy in the ‘what came’? Are you facing any situations like this right now? I pray that we all can look forward with hopeful anticipation in our current and upcoming life changes.

God, My Story, Travel

What Is Your XYZ?

November 8, 2019 brittanymputman

2019 Travel…

This year has been pretty dynamic in regards to travel for me. Putty invited me to go along with him to the National Leaders’ Conference in England. I tried to give reasons why this wouldn’t be advisable, but I was pretty much told by a mentor that I had to go with him because it was an overseas trip! You see, I wasn’t too excited about figuring out how to reorder my life during this excursion, but with Putty’s invitation, the prompt from this mentor and many other encouraging words from others, I made the necessary plans to travel overseas.

While there, we connected with the National Directors of the Vineyards in the BeNeLux (Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg). They asked if we might be interested in coming to speak at their National Conference later in the year. I knew in my heart I would be going on this trip with Putty. He agreed and it was doubly confirmed when my mother broke out in tears of joy that I would get to see the place where she raised four of my siblings!

But in between these two trips, Putty received another invitation to speak at the Vineyard National Conference for the USA. Again, after such a great trip to England and a much anticipated trip to Belgium/Netherlands, I was eager to attend this conference with him too. We drove together to Ohio and had a great time connecting with so much of our bigger Vineyard family!

2009 Travel…

Getting ready for the long plane ride to China!

I forgot how much fun travel can be! Before I went to England, I hadn’t been overseas for the previous 10 years. That was another year of travel for me. In 2009, Putty and I went to China on a mission’s trip. We taught together, ate together, and had adventures together, although he had the biggest adventure alone when he got stuck in Hong Kong due to overlooking the number of visa entries he had. Oops!

Additionally, in that year we took a trip to California to visit our good, good friends and see the new life they were living out there. They had been called to help with a church plant and we were heart-broken to see them go, but we always made an effort to support them and help them follow the leading of God in this adventure.

Our other trip that year was to visit my brother & sister-in-law in Colorado. It was so wonderful to spend some extended time with them and meet their sweet cats. We hiked, ate good food, and enjoyed each others’ company. It was something that filled my heart as I reconnected with my brother who had lived ‘Out West’ for so many years prior.

Growth Years…

These two years, 2009 & 2019 will be marked as ‘Year of Travel’ as well as ‘Growth Years for Brittany.’ You know, as much as I balk at getting out of my routine and trying new things, I always end up better for it. As much as I dig in my heels and act like all the planning is overly stressful, when I’m on the actual adventure itself, I realize how much I needed a change. (Can I get an ‘Amen!’?) My regular routine is safe, comfortable, and at times boring. Traveling and new adventures are potentially unsafe, uncomfortable, and … exciting! So why do I resist it so much? It’s simple… I forget.

I Forget…

I forget the good things that come out of adventure and risk. I forget that life isn’t just about doing the same ol’ thing day in and day out, but it’s about LIVING! I forget that relationships develop differently in the unfamiliar than in the familiar. My husband once said in regards to something else that I needed to have a tattoo on my hand that said, ‘XYZ is fun!’ It was said a bit tongue in cheek, but the idea of it was that I needed a constant reminder because I seemed to forget so easily!

What is your XYZ?…

So what is your XYZ? What in your life do you KNOW is fun, but you keep forgetting? What do you resist doing only to discover that once you did it, it was actually fun and life-giving? For me, there are more things than travel that I forget are great. I forget that having deep talks with a close friend are really life-giving. I forget that spending time in reflection actually brings me to a clearer understanding afterwards. I forget that practicing my piano and singing really brings me a lot of joy! I could go on, but I’d rather hear from you. What is your XYZ?