brittanymputman

A Brother’s Love & Protection

September 13, 2019 brittanymputman

Sibling Love/Sibling Rivalry…

Most of the time I loved my siblings and enjoyed playing with them and running around with them while we were growing up. Then there were those times that I remember being angry with them and hurt by them and even confused. But hey, that’s what having brothers and sisters is all about – sibling love and sibling rivalry!

Not Pulling My Hair…

My brother, Jesse, is five years older than me and the sibling immediately older than me in our birth order. When I think about Jesse a few things stand out to me: Baseball, Video Games, Friends, and Hair Pulling. Even into our adulthood, my brother still pulled my hair! His favorite thing to say to me was, “I’m not pulling your hair you’re pulling your own hair”. Technically, he was right. He was ‘holding’ my hair and I was pulling to get away from his grasp. But that justification was just splitting hairs (pun intended). He WAS pulling my hair.

Almost Spitting…

We had the usual brother-sister spat… or should I say ‘spit’? That’s right, he liked to almost spit on me! He was a great wrestler and I wasn’t afraid to get in on the fight, but then he’d win. As he had me pinned to the floor he’d let a drop of saliva every so slowly begin to drip from his lips. I was sure it was going to fall right onto my face! But usually, he sucked it back up just in time. I was saved!

Teasing and Love…

You see, even though these things could be seen as malicious and mean-spirited, he never actually hurt me. He was big on teasing – took after my dad and oldest brother on that! But he never hurt me. Case in point; one time he was looking after me and I wanted to play with him and his friend. They were playing catch with a baseball. Somehow I got in the cross fire and the ball hit me in the face. As I started to wail, Jesse immediately jumped into action. He quickly got some ice for my injury. Then he found me my favorite blanket and pillow and made up a bed for me on the porch swing. I thought it was great to have my big brother catering to me and I soaked up the attention and happily watched as he and his friend went back to playing catch. Either Jesse really cared about me or he was really afraid of getting into trouble with Mom and Dad.

Ready to play catch!
Comfortable and safe with my big bro

A Safe Place…

Whichever one it was, I found out his true heart as we got a little older. I actually don’t remember the memory very well, but the feelings of that memory are unforgettable. Jesse was left in charge of me again and I got very afraid of being left alone, without my parents. I don’t know why exactly. It was probably a step in my journey of growing up and maturing into independence. Jesse could tell how down I was feeling and he came to my room to talk to me. The words he said and his actions showed me that with him around, I never needed to be afraid. It anchored me so I could jump up and roam around again happily.

Jesse has proven his safety and care over and over again through the years. He has offered thoughtful advice at key moments in my growing up. He signed off on my then boyfriend – now husband, a very important opinion. And he still quietly shares his heart and reflections on current situations with truth and wisdom. I now see him caring for his own family in this same way.

Trickling Down…

There’s something very good that can be said for acting in such a way that those around you feel safe. When we challenge ourselves to be courageous and caring, it has a ripple effect to those around us. Not only do they feel safe, but they are empowered to be a safe place for those around them. Ultimately, we get our first safety from God the Father. His love trickles down to us directly and also through the people we find safety in and then on towards those who find safety with us.

Leadership, My Story, Praise and Worship, Voice

I am a Private Voice Teacher

September 7, 2019 brittanymputman

I am a Private Voice Teacher…

Not many people know the ins and outs of the profession I chose. It’s not one that gets put on display often and it’s done in the privacy of my own home. Each day I get the excitement of partnering with people to improve their voices, specifically singing voices! I am a private voice teacher. Others might call me a vocal coach. Some say singing teacher. No matter the term, it all leads back to the same idea. I teach people how to use their voice in a way that it’ll last for a long time to come (health) and sound pleasing to the ear (tone).

I love it. It’s as simple as that. I. Love. It. When I began studying voice, it was because I loved to sing, but now it’s morphed to loving seeing my students sing. We rejoice together over an improvement, we problem solve together to get the voice to reach new heights and goals. We talk together when it’s just plain hard to sing due to emotions and we come out with a song on our voices and a smile on our faces. I’ve come to see how much of a wholistic art and process that voice teaching really is. It’s not solo, it’s a partnership. It’s not just the vocal mechanism, it’s the whole being – body, mind, and spirit/soul.

Academic Plus More…

I began teaching with the model of academic musical goals due to my college experience. It’s been great to have the structure of classical music and style. However, teaching from a private studio has brought all sorts of singers to my door. I’ve had the classical singers, the rock band singers, the international singers, the musical singers, the church singers, etc. Each new student brings new goals into the studio and I’ve acted as a detective to tease out the best way to teach each person and help them with their goals. It’s often looked different from the requirements of an academic setting and it’s made me a more rounded teacher.

Teaching Voice and its Effects…

I don’t think I can begin to explain quite fully what teaching gives to me and how it changes me on a regular basis. The highs and lows are there and each of them are connected to a person… a student… a partnership. We are on the mountain together and in the muck and mire together. We wade through the intense work and soar to new heights when we’ve had breakthroughs. Perhaps the most surprising thing has been the relational side of lessons. A student and teacher must be connected enough to be vulnerable in singing and teaching; in trying new things and new ways of doing things; in sharing why we’re not 100% focused during that days lesson. Because of this close connection to my students, I feel with them as they go through the non-singing parts of their lives too.

Me and My Student of More thank Ten Years!

Try and Then Try Some More…

But on the practical level… We sing! They sing their song and I suggest trying it this way or that. They sing again. I suggest a repeat or a different technique or trick to try. They sing again. The students who willingly try and try again, whether it’s two times or ten times, will succeed. They will strengthen their voices and become more self aware of their whole singing mechanism. They will listen with new ears and make minute adjustments that only they and I know about in order to change their sound, get out a note, or paint a phrase with tone color.

My Student Tuning the Guitar for Her Voice Lesson

These students of mine… they are awesome! I’ve had so many students that work hard and use their whole hearts to go at it again and again. I’m so impressed with the focus my students have shown me over the years and even when they’re not taking lessons, they keep at it! They keep practicing the things they’ve been taught. Teaching voice is seriously one of my top rewarding experiences. Not just one experience, but each lesson is a repeated joyful experience. Thank you, my students, for all that you’ve taught me and given me over the years. I’m so super blessed to have you as part of my life story.

One of the Many Triumphs…

With that, I’ll leave you with a song that two of my students co-wrote and then recorded live and then released as a new single this weekend! It’s a Praise & Worship song called To The One. The male lead singer and the female background vocalist in the video below are students that have touched my life and teaching experience.

‘To The One’ written & performed by Kyle Howard & Joanna Machen

Adoption, God, My Story

Adoption Update: August 2019

August 30, 2019 brittanymputman

Application Submitted…

We finally did it! 4 months after a post saying that we were getting ready to submit our application to adopt, we actually did it! Why the long wait? Well, as I mentioned in another post, we felt led by God to reinvestigate a variety of ways to adopt and schedule more meetings and phone calls with the various professionals involved in each type of adoption. I now know a lot more than I did and I’m so glad to have a greater understanding of the adoption world as a whole!

We learned more about different adoption programs such as Foster Care to Adopt, the Adopt Waiting Children program, and International Adoption. When we considered all the options each of these give us and weighed many factors, we decided to go ahead and do what we originally planned, Private Domestic Adoption. This fits best with our current priorities for adoption and learning more about the rest of the programs out there confirmed that our original intention was the right one for us at this time. It feels very good to be even more settled than we were before.

What Will People Think?…

One thing that came to light for me personally was how much worry I had wrapped up in how people would view our adoption choices. I knew what God had placed in my heart, but I also knew all the other opinions out there and judgement that could be awaiting me. My mind kept hearing the arguments against the adoption we were choosing and the arguments for all the other types of adoption. I began to feel like I would need to defend my choices and I didn’t know how I would do that. I worried that maybe I wasn’t actually doing what was best.

Because of this inner dialogue, I started to doubt, worry, and wonder. At times, I felt like wavering and giving up. Putty, my husband, isn’t too worried about what others think. He stands firm in his resolve that God spoke and that’s all that matters. This made it hard for me to share openly with him all that was going through my mind and so, sometimes, I felt alone in this too. Perhaps what felt most difficult was hearing ‘Wait’ from God over and over again. I just wanted Him to tell me what to do! I didn’t want to wait, I wanted to be active.

Inner Strengthening…

So, after taking another look at adoption options, reading more books, and talking with more people, I eventually came to know what I really wanted and the best program for that. I came out of this weighing process feeling more firm in my path of adoption. I gained inner strength and conviction towards our decision. These past 4 months have been enormously helpful as we’ve prepared our hearts and family for welcoming another child into our home. And God has finally said, ‘Go!’

Rewards of Waiting…

It wasn’t easy… the waiting. So many times I felt like I was just treading water. It didn’t feel like I was moving forward, but I kept hearing God say, ‘Wait.’ Have you ever felt like this? We can want something to happen or at least see forward motion so badly that we jump ahead and miss the growth and strengthening that happens in the waiting. But when we wait we get the joy of feeling the quickening that comes after the waiting. We feel the peace of having been patient, self-controlled and obedient. And we get to experience the hopeful expectation of the next step that God will lead us on.

God, Kingdom, Leadership, My Story

Doing Church Alone with Kids – Part 2

August 23, 2019 brittanymputman

Together, but not…

In my previous post, I shared how I ‘do church alone with kids’ because my husband works on Sunday mornings. The kicker is that he works at our church! How can he and I be in the same place at the same time, but I am still alone/separate?

The Assumption and the Reality…

When we decided that my husband would leave his field of physics to become a pastor, I didn’t realize how that would affect my Sunday mornings. I assumed we’d carry on as usual. He and I still sitting together at church, mingling with friends together, and driving to and from church together. But one day, I started complaining to him about his lack of presence with me on Sundays. I tried to demand more of him on that day. He made it clear that he was ‘at work’ and he couldn’t just function as we had in the past.

The Workplace…

This really got me thinking. I had to wrap my head around what he was saying. So, I tried to apply it to when I was working full time. It would be inappropriate for me to have my husband come to my workplace and just sit with me all day. It would be distracting to have him constantly talking to me and trying to get my attention while I was working or meeting with people. It’d be awkward to have him calling the shots with my time and energy while I was ‘on the clock.’ How very ridiculous that would be!

The Understanding…

When I really started to put it into perspective that he was being paid to be at church on Sunday and interface with the church members, to help in his area of ministry, and that his boss could easily see how he was using his time, I began to shift my expectations. I could see that although we can be a family at church, it actually isn’t his main focus. Although he completely loves me and the kids, he also loves the people he serves – both bosses and church attenders.

I’m often found on my own with the kids on Sunday
Snapping a quick family photo ‘on the clock’

Working it Out…

As the years have gone by, I’ve been able to work out how to function as a family with my pastor husband, even while he’s working. We have openly discussed the needs of our family and the needs of his job. We come to solutions together so that we are on the same page. And yeah, sometimes that means I shoulder more of the parental role on a Sunday morning. Sometimes, it can seem like I’m alone on the surface, but in reality we’re in this ministry together. The way in which I choose to support him and honor his role is one area that I serve. I’m thankful to be alongside him in our Kingdom Adventure.

Every job, ministry and volunteer role means sacrifice. It means a sacrifice to our expectations and the way we’ve been used to doing things. It means flexibility. We have to be able to change as the roles change. It means openness. We need to be open with those around us so that we can help each other fulfill our needs. It means growth, strengthening, interdependence, and ultimately, gain! What areas do you feel God is strengthening you? Where do you need to see a new perspective? Where do you need to be flexible and stretch? Can you see how God will ultimately bring about goodness and gain to your life as you sacrifice? He is so good.

God, Kingdom, Leadership, My Story

Doing Church Alone with Kids – Part 1

August 16, 2019August 23, 2019 brittanymputman

Sunday Mornings at Home

Every Sunday morning my husband goes to work. So that leaves me to go to church on my own with my kids. My husband gets up and gets ready for work and I get up and get ready for church. Then he leaves and I help my children with breakfast and getting the final touches ready for a long morning at our Sunday morning venue. After much scurrying around and forgetting this and that, we’re finally in the car and ready to drive.

Arriving at Church…

We tumble out of the car with my older kids racing ahead of me while I try to quickly unbuckle my child who’s still in that ‘very secure’ five-point-harness child seat. (But really, I’m thankful for safety!) Finally, we’re all out, I’ve locked the car…I think. Then I relock the car just to be sure and we head to the entrance. We weave through the groups of people to the check-in kiosk. My two oldest BOTH want to do the check-in so we figure out who’ll do first service and who’ll do second service. Then name tags are put on and we’re heading to class.

Kids love to run to the big tree when we get to church
Kids hiding from the welcome team

The Drop-Off…

At this point, I’m really tired, often frazzled, and on a mission. If you try to say, ‘Hello,’ to me, I’ll likely give you a happy and quick, ‘Hi there!’ and keep moving. (You see, if you stop with children in tow, they get distracted and run to said distraction. Then I have to go through the work of getting them back to me and off again to class.) I drop off the older two first because they *usually* go in with the least amount of trouble. Then it’s just me and my pre-schooler. We head to the class with the usual teacher and the usual toys and the usual friends. But, no. Lately, she puts on a big show of tears (I know because my sister’s a volunteer in the class and says she always calms down very quickly after I leave) and I set her down in the room and quickly exit, pulling the door closed behind me. I hear her cries as I walk down the hall. I tell myself, and sometimes the occasional bystander, ‘She’ll be fine.’ And you know what, she’s ALWAYS happy when I pick her up. Mission accomplished!

To the Service…

Finally, I’m free to mingle, but at this point most people have made it into the service and I too am trying to quickly use the bathroom, get my coffee, and bee-line it to the auditorium. Once there I finally sit down and eventually, my husband joins me. ‘But didn’t you say your husband works on Sunday?’ I’m so glad you asked. Yes… He’s a pastor.

Although this narrative is humorous, it can also come across as complaining. It’s so easy to look at what we don’t have, in this case a husband to help with the kids on Sunday mornings, and long for things to be different. I definitely do that, but then I think about why they are the way they are. Together, we chose to be a family in ministry. There are certain things we gave up because of our choice. It wasn’t thrust upon us or the truth hidden from us. We simply made a choice and now each week, each day we see the joys and hardships of that choice. Although, at times, it can be lonely, I wouldn’t make a different choice. I’ve been so thankful for all that we’ve become as a family and I’m excited for what’s to come.

How about you? What things are hard in your life because of a choice you’ve made? Can you also see the positives that have come out of that choice? God is ALWAYS working things to our good. Romans 8:28a says,

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good. (ESV)

It might be hard to see the good that’s being worked out at times, but we can hold fast that there is always good to come for those that love God. Join me in Doing Church Alone with Kids – Part 2 to read more about how I came to the realization of my new Sunday morning routine due to our choice to be a family in ministry.

God, Kingdom, My Story, Praise and Worship

Jamaica Roadshow

August 9, 2019 brittanymputman

All my life I’ve loved singing. From singing on the church stage, to the school stage, to the college stage, to local performing. It’s all been fun and brought much joy to my heart.

In high school I had the opportunity to go on our church mission trip to Jamaica. My role was as a singer in our praise band. We led worship songs as a group, but I also had the task to learn a solo song and be ready to sing it whenever asked. I chose Jaci Velasquez’s version of ‘I Get on my Knees’. I worked and worked to get that song comfortable in my voice and to have feeling with it too.

Singing in a church
Singing at a school

Most of the times we sang in churches and schools, but one evening we were scheduled to sing at a road show. Basically, our group was one of many that performed on a big semi-truck bed on a closed off street with many Jamaicans looking up from the road below. What a different experience this was for me! I hadn’t done anything like this before.

We did some of our praise songs and then it was time to sing my solo. I don’t remember every part of that performance, but I vividly remember looking down at the crowd of people and seeing that they were all singing along with me. They knew the song and they were singing their hearts out with praise to Jesus! It was so uplifting and I felt something I didn’t know how to explain.

Singing Jaci Velasquez’s ‘On My Knees’ at a road show in Jamaica

After I finished, our fellow mission teammate got up and shared his testimony, but even though we had heard him share many times before, this time was different. We were all so excited when it was done and both this young man and I could only explain that we truly felt like God was singing and speaking through us. We didn’t ask for this big change in presentation, only to do well. We didn’t ask for a special experience, we just wanted people to be impacted.

Looking back, I now have words for what happened that evening. Holy Spirit. I knew God used people and could talk through people, but it wasn’t something I regularly expected. Now, I see how much Holy Spirit wants to speak through us. He wants to use us to bring life to those around us! He wants to fill us and empower us to give away more of Him!

How often have we experienced something that we couldn’t explain? What has been our response? Have we brushed it off? Have we assumed it was a one-time thing? Or have we recognized that Holy Spirit was at work in and through us? Have we pushed in for more? Have we stayed open to ‘see what the Father was doing’? Now that I know God wants to use me as a partner in ministry, I can’t help but respond with, ‘YES!’ whether in singing, speaking, writing, or praying.

A recent recording of ‘On My Knees’

Adoption, God, My Story

Doubts

August 3, 2019 brittanymputman

Doubts

Doubts. They come at me when I’m trying to fall asleep at night, when I receive negative feedback, or when I hear/read about a hard story. For as much as I’m excited about adopting, the doubts still find their way in. They tell me that I’m not going to do well. They say I’m crazy to think about adding this new ‘complexity’ to my life. They tell me to take the easy road and ‘forget about it’.

Me DOUBTING whether throwing this is a good idea

As I’ve said before, I want to adopt transracially. I want to have a racially diverse family. This adds another element of doubts that come against me. Will I be able to appropriately help my adopted child(ren?) to know their cultural background? Will I know how to take care of their unique needs that are different from mine? For example, non-white hair and skin needs. Will I be able to parent them well enough so when they become adults and leave our home they can enter society well prepared? I am acutely aware that parenting a transracial child will be different than parenting my biological children. Can I do it?

Wrestling…

Does anyone else out there struggle with doubts? Does anyone else out there wonder if what they *think* they heard from God was actually Him? Doesn’t it seem like it’s supposed to be easy if we’re following the steps that He’s laid out for us? That would make the most sense to me, but then I look at my past history in this area. Yes, there are times when it feels easy, but there are plenty when it’s just plain hard. After all, Jesus didn’t promise it’d be easy. In Luke 9:23 Jesus said,

 Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny theamselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

However, despite the hardships we carry when we follow Christ, we also experience great grace for what He’s called us to. He gives us peace, hope, and joy. Sometimes it seems like when Satan comes against me, God’s grace comes to me in greater measure! God provides what I need to make it through all that His call on my life requires. Paul prays in Hebrews 13:20-21:

Now may the God of peace ... equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Assurance…

Doing something hard as a child, but being fully supported

I have definitely experienced His grace and goodness while following God’s call. I see it again in our adoption process. In the midst of the swirl of confusion – clarity. In the midst of the chaotic thoughts – peace. In the midst of the fears – love. I hear God say to me: ‘I made you for this. I called you to adopt transracially. I put this dream in your heart. It wasn’t from you, it was from Me.’ And once again, I know I am fully supported by the ONE who knows everything. I have the strength yet again, to take the next step forward, to learn the next thing, and to speak out again in truth. God’s grace and goodness propel me onwards to follow His call.

Honesty…

It’s true, I’ll make mistakes while following His path. I won’t do everything right. In fact, it’s like this in every situation in which we choose to put ourselves ‘out there.’ We fail… but we will succeed too. We risk… and we keep faith. We worry… but we have hope. We are courageous. We have the ability to do something that frightens us and come out FEARLESS! I will put my insecurities in the place they belong – with God, not with me. I’ll take the dream that He’s given me and take it step by step. I’ll trust that He knows the best path for me and follow it. What will you do with your God-given dreams? Will you turn back when doubts assail you or will you find courage and strength to keep pressing onward?

Adoption, God, My Story

One Hundred Kids

July 27, 2019 brittanymputman

One Hundred Kids

Do you know what seems pretty impossible? Having 100 kids biologically. The most recorded number that any one mother has ever had is 69! Even though it’s over halfway there, it’s still not 100. When I was little I remember thinking, ‘I want to have 100 kids when I grow up!’ But even then, I knew that wasn’t physically possible. So I told myself, ‘I guess I’ll just have to have an orphanage.’

Family of Feodor Vassilyev whose 1st wife had 69 children

Orphanages…

I’m not sure why so many of my childhood thoughts revolved around orphanages. Maybe it’s because my brother was adopted out of one. Maybe it’s because my grandmother had lived in one. Maybe it was just all the popular movies of the 80s and 90s that focused on children in orphanages – think Annie, Anne of Green Gables, and other such stories. But, orphanages were in my play and in my perceived future.

God speaking…

I didn’t dwell long on the idea of having an orphanage with 100 kids in it. I went about my life of growing up, going to college, getting married, and so on. Yes, from time to time I remembered that ‘silly childhood thought,’ but I didn’t give it any weight. Until…

When I was a newly married woman, I started attending a Charismatic church. The talk about the experience of the Holy Spirit was different from my Evangelical upbringing. Eventually, I started learning about prophecy and how God can speak to us in so many ways. Very vividly, this childhood statement came back to mind. Was it a prophetic message from God? Was He trying to tell me something through this? What could it mean?

Asking…

So, I began asking God if this thought was from Him or if it was just a childish notion? If it was from God, was it for now or sometime in my future? Was it literal or figurative? I mean, how could it be literal from God when I’m pretty sure that the last US orphanage closed by 1979 and I don’t feel a call to overseas missions? If it’s figurative, what part of my life does it intersect with; children, students, friends, mentees, etc?

Comparing…

Whatever this is, it hasn’t been as clear cut as the time God spoke to a man who was praying over Putty and said that he saw an albatross bird flying over an ocean (and other things). Umm… Yes, Putty was about to go out on a mission trip to China that would change his life! It hasn’t been as obvious as the word I received in February 2009 and just read again recently that said, ‘Playing Piano: take time to worship on your own’. What is God calling me into right now – ten years later? Playing piano and worshiping on my own! It’s amazing how His words come to pass literally (playing piano and worship) and figuratively (an albatross flying over the ocean).

What I do know…

Even now, what I do know about the orphanage thoughts is that it lines right up with my desire to have children. It lines up with my heart for orphans and children in need. It lines up with God’s call for us to bring a child into our lives through adoption, whether a true orphan or an ‘emotional/spiritual’ orphan. God has been speaking. He’s been speaking since my childhood! He’s been gently guiding my future and now is the time to get my feet on the ground and start running with it! I’m so excited to bring the next child into our family.

Listening, Waiting, Responding…

We can all hear from God. We should hold onto the things we think God has spoken over us. We need to be ready to move if He shows us something in alignment with those words. It might take a long time, but what is important is the process of listening, waiting, and responding. God can and does speak to us, even as a child.

God, My Story

Swaddled in Love

July 20, 2019 brittanymputman

Liquid Love

A few years ago, I began to hear that some people have experienced God’s love like a liquid that was either poured over them or filled them from head to toe. What a wonderful expression of the Father’s love for us. How amazing that we can feel something so tangible from an ‘unseen’ God!

Waiting for it…

The way people explained this liquid love made it seem so good! I received prayer to know the Father’s love more deeply and tangibly. I had hopeful expectation that I’d get that ‘liquid love’ sense, but I didn’t. I knew God loved me. That was never up for debate. I was happy about my history with the Father, but deep down, I did want to experience that tangible love. I kept waiting… for years.

Inviting Him in…

Then, one night as I was trying to drift off to sleep, I suddenly started to feel fearful. Oftentimes my mind plays out the story of whatever bad thing that fear depicts and then I either try to ignore it or pray about it. But this night was different. As soon as I recognized that this was fear, I stopped those spiraling thoughts in their tracks! I said, ‘Holy Spirit, Jesus, Father, I invite you and I ask you to come now.’ I knew that only He could keep the fear from going any further.

Swaddled in Love…

Sure enough, I suddenly felt His ‘arms’ all around me. Since there were three that I invited in (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) I actually felt surrounded on all sides. But it wasn’t like actual arms hugging me because it was more all-encompassing, like I was being held, not just hugged. I felt a slight pressure around my body and then I realized that I was also feeling heat. This warmth moved from the outside-in. Then, it hit me! This is God’s love dispelling my fear!

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear… 1 John 4:18a

What I was experiencing was comforting and loving, but it was not what I would describe as ‘liquid’ love. So how would I describe it? A cocoon came to mind, but that’s not really very appealing to me. It seems a bit…binding.

Then I saw it. It was like being swaddled. Babies love to be swaddled because they can sense the bounds of where they are and they are warm and… they know they are safe – and that’s how I describe what I felt that night. I was swaddled in God’s love by the Heavenly Father himself.

A loving father holding his swaddled child

There are so many times when we hear other people’s stories and experiences and we hope for the same exact experience for ourselves. But we serve a unique and creative God. He shows us His love in ways that make sense to our individual personalities! So, we can learn to trust God to give us our own, unique experiences with Him! It’s okay if they’re different from others’ or even from our own expectations. As we continue to lean into the Father, we will see how He is showing us His love in an individual and unique way.

My Story, Voice

Embracing the Musician Within

July 12, 2019 brittanymputman

Not a Music Nerd

Let me be honest. Sometimes the things I am most passionate about, I play off as having only a passing fancy. I cover up my excitement so that I don’t come across as immature or uncool. I don’t want to be pigeon-holed as the person with only this one interest or seem obsessed and with nothing else to talk about. No, I want to be well-rounded. I even went to a liberal arts college that gives a person an educational experience across multiple disciplines. But what happens to those things I’m truly passionate about when I push them aside?

Losing Myself…

Reflecting on my childhood, I realize that somewhere along the way, I took on so many interests that my highest ‘joy-giver-interests’ started to get watered down. I started to question, ‘Who am I really?’ and ‘What’s actually important to me?’ I thought, ‘I feel like X is important to me, but so-and-so really has a good argument for Y being important. So, maybe I should rethink that and move towards Y.’ This happened over and over again and each time I chose to put my passion in a box for the sake of another’s passion, mine got buried deeper and deeper. No, it wasn’t completely gone, but it wasn’t at the forefront either.

Finding Myself…

Slowly, I began to see that some things just weren’t for me. They weren’t life giving and it didn’t feel like God was leading me in those directions. So, I stopped doing them. As more ‘potential interests’ got thrown out, my passions started to float to the surface once more! There was a wind on them that sent them pushing ahead and showing up in so many places. It was exciting and I felt more alive again!

Embracing the Musician Within…

This past year one of my greatest passions was reignited – Music! Yes, I have been doing music non-stop in a professional manner since I graduated college, but still I found myself ignoring the importance of it in my life. Very few people in my social circles seemed to have a true interest in music and when I came across those that did, we ended up talking about other things. But somehow, this year is different. Suddenly, I don’t seem to care if I am nerdy about music. I want to publicly show my love of it! My home decor changed (music lamp, music mugs, etc) and even some of my fashion accents (see scarf in photo). I sought out other musicians to talk to and felt joy and excitement rise again inside of me!

Me and a piano that Handel (composer of ‘The Hallelujah Chorus’) frequently played!

I’m not afraid to say, ‘I am a musician!’ I love music. It helps me express things that I can’t put into words. It helps me process underlying emotions. I am a singer! When I sing out, I feel like I’m soaring along with my voice to a new land that’s full of adventure and the unknown! I am a music professional! I can ‘talk-shop’ with other musicians and know that I have something to say because of my years of practice, teaching, and observing. So, bring it on! Let me sing! Let my voice be heard! This is who I am… (at least in part)… and it’s such an important part.

If we find ourselves feeling dull in life, then let’s look at what we’re giving time and energy to. How many of these things are life-giving to us? Do we purposely carve out time to interact with our passions? Are we constantly trying new things at the expense of what brings us joy? Are we letting go of things that ‘clutter’ our space for our higher passions? It’s so important to remember that when we move those things out, we’ll have more room to explore the passions that God has put inside each one of us. They’ll be life-giving, hope-filling, and joy-bringing!